Over Shadows


Ordinary Lives
Rayneman (feat. Kensa, Mocksmile, Nakr, and Soupherb)
Producer: KMG
2018

Verse 1 (Rayneman):

I'm just a fuck up trying to unfuck up my situation

Holding a shovel, I dig through layers of frustration

They say it's all in the state of mind, so I put my mind on stasis

Wear a happy face, look for rainbows and chase it

But chasing happiness is like building card towers in the wind

No matter what you do, it's gonna tumble down in the end

Still I gotta front that I got my marbles together

Force a smile just to walk by your side, hoping that you'll make it better

You know half of my time's spent spewing some posi vibe shit

But deep within my heart's recesses, I know it's all nonsense

Just as spiteful and conniving as my antithesis

Little satanspawn reaching out for that hand of Jesus

Too real for those I ride with, too fake for those I rock with

That smile you hate stuck on my face and overtakes my conscience

Until the day that every one of you turn on me

I'll still be smiling all alone in purgatory

 

Hook:

It's so easy to lie

No one sees through my smiles

When I'm expressing

Feels like I'm transgressing in your eyes

It's so easy to lie

No one sees through my smiles

Scattered dreams in the sky

Along with each piece of my life

Is it too late to pick up all the missing parts?

I wanna go back from the start

 

Verse 2 (Kensa):

I'm in it to win it, I’m shooting for the zenith, break from the prison of my inhibitions

Conflicted on whether to listen to my shoulder angel or inner demons

What is the weight of a flick of a pen if it hardly changes the minds of men?

It's nothing but a speck in the infinite spectrum of interrelated butterfly effects

Still, I plunge into fictional narratives like a messianic renaissance man

Megalomania shredded to sediments, dreams of a god transcending from man

I refuse to be broken down to repetitive sets of influences

'Cause I went down from being the best to getting the worst of my depression

Now listen:

Bullets are raining from every direction, I'm spitting up blood from my wounded reflection

I try to be perfect with my imperfections, I'm shooting with my eyes closed, misdirected

To the innocent men I never wanted to war with, gotta stand tall 'spite the painful process

Of losing your friends to a game that ponders to the selfish even if it breaks another soul

Exacerbated by my pain and anger

Every waking moment feels like a blade of a dagger

Being driven to my hollow chest that I am barely breathing with

I'm killing my darlings, down to the last bullet of the gun that I will shoot myself with

 

Verse 3 (Mocksmile):

Stay on the background, pretend that it's cool

Wait for the last round, deny a revenue

Drool on the scenery and act like a fool

Nod my head as I get back at the queue

Never be defined at the highest point of my life

Every time I feel alive, I always close my eyes

And refuse to see what can be if I only took two steps

Will it count as a victory?

Before I drown from the misery that I used to be

The one to fix catastrophes, create all of the masterpieces

From the mastery of calamities

Even shadows couldn't see the shade under my strongest canopy

(no, no)

I dive the attic for misplaced chances

Before it went all tragic, pictures painted on the piles of garbage

Only strong from afar

Come nearer and clearly you'll see all my scars

The feeling is fear, sincerely want to restart

And throw all my cards

 

Repeat hook

 

Verse 4 (Nakr):

Everyday, my face is painted with a smile that's fabricated

As a way to remain sane in this hell that I've created

Every layer's made up of unattainable aims

That I thought would aid in saving me a space in a safe haven

I remember those moments wherein I initiated

On taking baby steps to step away from a state of being jaded

Evading the statements indicated by my cranium

Intended to impede my intentions so as to keep me safe from

Falling down a rabbit hole, housing a thousand false hopes

Reaching out, just to force-open a thousand close doors

So that all of my longings break loose and run amok

To open up a thousand wounds that are bound to leave a mark

When I'm about to take a step back, I realized I sank too deep

In this abyss that I am in, swimming in a cesspool of tears

One of these days, I'll bathe in acid rain to eradicate the pain

But not today, 'cause I still have a long list of smiles to fake

 

Verse 5 (Soupherb):

Staring at light but emitted display for 5 or 7 days a week

We always worked and played but I contemplate if this a life worth to keep

With only 5 hours of sleep while juggling life with hands and feet

Yet I gain small victories but they don't matter because of soul-crushing defeats

Feels like they tie me up to my seat, turned blue then slowly losing my heat

How do I fight back with a crunched mind during crunch time? I'll get fired

How do I fly high when I'm wasting my time on the ground while I'm so inspired?

Already tired, quit on this world then move onto the next just like my faded fire

My life's a rolling tire on a depressing slope, losing hope, for once I was dope

But somewhere between living was dropping low notes, it was hard to cope

No brainer I had to show patience, determination it was the only way for me to grow

It was slow and steady, plenty of time to learn all the things that I need to know

Learning is painful, no wonder why "learning process" exists

Either it overwhelms you or overcome the challenge which is the sweetest

Learned that there's no difference between righteousness and wickedness

How do I know? I learned how to be one with angels and demons


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